like the violin

Oh, dear! I completely forgot that I've promised to tell you how the buy nothing month went. And that's almost two months ago. Well, here goes: It was PERFECT, completely wonderful!

It was so liberating. I felt very strong, as though nothing would affect me - neither trends nor sales signs (I don't know about you, but sales signs often make me feel exactly what they want me to feel - that I have to buy lots of stuff right now or else it will be too late (too late meaning, I will be un-trendy and ugly and people won't want to be with me)). I felt that it saved me time, too. Instead of thinking "I need new shoes - when do I have time to try and find a pair that I want?", it was just "do I really need new shoes or do I just think so because capitalism wants me to buy more?".

There were some difficult situations, of course, like when Maria and I wanted to share a pint of Ben & Jerry's for dessert after eating dinner at my place, and wanted to go and buy it, but I couldn't - so she had to buy it. Which was not what I intended when coming up with the buy nothing month rules. We both wanted the ice cream, and we both ate it, so I may as well have paid for it now that it actually ended up being bought anyway.

As for clothes, paper and other stuff that I usuallt buy, it was all easy and good. I just used what I already had and was completely happy with that. It was so good!

Then, of course, during the last week, something did affect me ... my sugar addiction. Everything was so stressful in September (as you may have understood if you've read here) and I needed sugar to cope. I didn't manage to resist it, in the end. So, the thing that I needed first, was candy. Doesn't it sound ridiculous? I'm trying not to be ashamed of it, but it's not easy.

Which, of course, made it quite obvious what will be the natural step after this: candy-free month. Because I don't want to be addicted to sugar - at least not as much as I am now. It's not so much for health reasons (I am growing quite fond of my belly the way it is, these days) as for the whole addiction thing. Today I was getting a headache, and then bought a Twix, and when I had finished it the headache was gone! I had no idea it worked like that. Can one get headache from (imaginead) lack of sugar? If so, I need to end this immediately.

But since it is an addiction, it won't be easy ... Trust me, I've tried to quit eating candy several times. It has lasted for about two weeks ... So I'm not sure as of what to do with this, yet. I'm thinking a whole month is too much to start with - if I fail (and I think I will) I'll ony feel lousy. Shouldn't you always put up goals that seem reasonable and reachable?

So. The buy nothing month will be back, definitely. Not December - I am not ready for that kind of challenge yet, but maybe January or February, we'll see. As for sugar, I'll try to cut down on it, but that will need some great deal of character. Wish me luck!