to dress more like Rainbow Brite

A few days ago, I talked with some friends about what were our favorite TV series when we were younger. Mine are easy: Rainbow Brite and Jem and the Holograms. I haven't thought about any of them in a long while, but now they they were there, I suddenly felt an urge to see them again. I had to struggle a little to get to see them already as a child: they aired on channels we didn't have, so I watched them at friends' places and such. I had the first episodes of Jem and the Holograms on video, and watched them over and over (I still know many of the songs by heart).

But that tape is long since gone, so I've had to turn to YouTube. I haven't had much time to see it, but the little I've seen (of Rainbow Brite so far, since the memory of that is so much more distant) is making me childishly happy and giddy.

And I can't help but thinking; Rainbow Brite is about a little girl who wants to give more and brighter colors to the world, and Jem and the Holograms about a girl who wants to sing and make music. Dang it did I choose my path that early?! :)

So well, I decided to try and dress more like Rainbow Brite. Not just "today I'm wearing two shades of red and some blue", more like ... "today I'm wearing green, yellow, blue, red, white, brown and some pink". My wardrobe is full of color, this shouldn't be too difficult. I love color too much not to wear it every day! The photo below is from yesterday, Johan took it as we were walking to church.



+ scarf: åhléns
+ green jacket: vila
+ red jacket: ginatricot
+ mittens: gift from my mother
+ dress: h&m
+ bag: made from an IKEA fabric
+ pants: topshop
+ socks: knitted by my mother
+ shoes: cheapo

In the first episode, Rainbow Brite says her quest is to bring color and happiness to the world. Well, so is mine. :)

Just a short note to tell you everything is allright, no, everything is much better than allright: I am almost ridiculously in love, so that nothing else really seems to matter, and I feel like I could drown in something warm and fuzzy that moved into my apartment with Johan. Who doesn't really live here, of course, but three floors down isn't really that big a difference from here.

- - -

Have been thinking I'll start putting the wardrobe_remix photos here, too, as well as on flickr. Another benefit of having a boyfriend: there is someone who doesn't tire of taking pictures of me ... And who has exactly the same camera that I had before it broke :)



Here is a picture from a few days ago. I'm starting to get a little tired of this grey weather ... We've had almost no snow at all and now we can look forward to at least two, maybe three more months of grey rain, mist and chilly winds. Lucky I have my strawberry hat. I seriously love it and hope I'll never lose it (cross your fingers for me, because I'm a master of coming home without mittens and hats and scarfs and stuff with no clue of where I left/ dropped them).

+ strawberry hat: had it since I was little
+ mittens: birthday gift from hanna & lisa
+ coat: h&m
+ scarf: handed down from my grandmother
+ sweater: handed down from my brother
+ pants: topshop
+ shoes: cheapo, bought at shock

The Twelfth Night Ball at the Opera (there are a few photos in the photo blog) yesterday was simply lovely and wonderful in every aspect. As we stood at the doors afterwards, waiting for everyone (there were about fifteen of my lindy hop friends there), we looked at each other, almost as if we had just woken up from a dream. How could nine hours pass so fast? It could have been fifteen minutes for all I know.

I felt a little bit like Cinderella; is it already over? I had changed into ordinary pants and sweater, as it had begun to snow outside and I didn't want to ruin my dress. My friends looked at me and said "oh ... yes, that is what you look like most days ...", as if they didn't consider the pants and tee shirt-clad Kristin the real one, but rather the Kristin floating around in a red shimmery haze. Because that's what I was, that's what it all was: shimmering. People were staring (admiringly!) at me all night, probably because I am a good dancer (and how I enjoy the waltz and viennese waltz, rumba and foztrot, even the occasional cha-cha; everything is lovely with a good leader, in a ball gown, and with an opera orchestra), but I think it was because I was beautiful, too. It was an amazing feeling.

Today the world is covered in a wet, white blanket. I know Göteborg: this will not stay, the footprints I see from my balcony are already dark, my windows are covered with drops. But as I intend to stay indoors today, enjoying this Sunday with something creative (drinking hot chocolate for example (I wonder if there is any milk on the fourth floor, I've ran out) and working with a photo album which I have neglected for too long), I won't notice. Everything looks white and snowy and soft from up here.

Been intending to link to this amazing photographer for a while, but I've forgotten. I no longer remember where I got the link but I am sure you will love this as much as I do: Jan von Holleben's Dreams of Flying.

2007 was the year of the apartment. I moved in on the 4th of March, but I was asked if I wanted the apartment (and said yes without hesitation) sometime early January, so I spent the first two months dreaming and scheming, getting second hand furniture, planning what photos I wanted on my walls and looking through boxes of mugs and plates I've been saving. I knew I'd be happy here and yet I have been happier here than I could ever imagine. Coming here is coming home, every time, no doubt about it. I've noticed that I actually talk to my apartment like normal people would talk to a cat when they come home: hello dear, how've you been today? Been a good day, hasn't it? My apartment greets me by waiting for me, with calm, like my morning light.

2007 was my first year at the Academy of Music, a year which didn't turn out at all like I had planned - in bad ways and in good ways. I thought it would be easier socially; I thought it would be easier to get to know people and make lots of new musician friends with whom I could sing and play and be happy. Truth is, reality disappointed me a little at first. But after a while I realised that I'm not someone who will network because it's necessary; it's just not my thing to do. The people who know everyone may be more successful, or better musicians, but I will not go out of who I am to be appreciated and/ or popular.

My future as a musician is unsure, but what the hell, I will follow happiness wherever it takes me, and for now, it's keeping me safe and sound right where I am: with one classical pianist, one chamber music ensemble and one jazz ensemble, two choirs, one swing song ensemble and one guitarist. 2007 laid a solid ground for me to stand on, and I know where I want to go: more singing, more different inputs, more inspiration from every kind of music there is, more merging of styles and mixing of genres. More hard work, and more pure, lauging-out-loud musical joy.

2007 was a great dancing year, a year with my first Herräng Dance Camp and a year when I was asked if I wanted to become a lindy teacher - which I now am, with Kristian, who is an amazing dancer. It's been taking a lot of hard work, time and planning, but it's given me a lot more than it cost. During 2007 I went from being a fast learner somewhere in the intermediate area, having danced lindy hop for only a year, to being a dancer who is capable of analyzing my own dance and see all the things I need to work on to become a better dancer. It's a wonderful development and one that I am very grateful for.


And 2008?

I will sing, and I will dance, because it is what I love and it is what my life consists of. Fall was so stressed out that I didn't really get to enjoy my life to the fullest, I can see that now. And why would I live if not to enjoy it, the richness of it? Because it is rich, it is so rich. I intend to be calmer. I have said it before. I need to make it a mantra, impossible to forget or run away from. I need to be calmer.

As for the apartment I will move in two months, not because I want to (what wouldn't I do to stay?!) but because the contract was for a year and not a day more. Things will be harder when I'm back at my parents' place (I'll be staying with them for a couple of months), it will be more difficult to remain calm and happy. But I'll do my best.

I have Johan now, too, and I so look forward to starting this new year with him, to see where life takes us and this relationship that is evolving between us, like a creature of it's own, small and soft, swirling, living - I never looked at a relationship quite this way before, but this time, it really is something in itself, something that I can look at while it grows (and how it grows!), something that happened almost without me knowing it - as if one day I woke up and he was there, next to me, having landed there while I slept, unsuspectingly ... Yes, it still feels like that: when I woke up this morning, it took me a short while to realise that I hadn't been dreaming: that there was someone sleeping right behind my back, holding me very gently in his sleep.

Back from five days of lindy hop in Stockholm, I've come down with the usual lindy cold. It's just impossible to go to a camp and dance with so many people without catching something, specially since we hardly rest. So right now I feel like a swollen ugly octopus with a sore throat, and a jellyfish where my brain once used to be.

Still, it was worth it. Despite how tired and worn out I was already when I came to Stockholm (Christmas was calm and lovely, but three days wasn't enough to pay for all the stress during autumn), it may have been the best classes I've ever taken. I learned so much! Can't wait to get well so that I can go to a social dance night and try everything new.

I had my best New Year's Eve for years. Lisa and Hanna arranged a dinner for twelve people, and then we went up on a hill from where we saw most of Göteborg, with all the fireworks. Despite my not feeling my best, it was a lovely evening, and I am so lucky to have the friends I have. Johan was invited too (I didn't have to lift a finger to arrange that - he was already invited through another friend, how I love it when that happens!) and so he was officially introduced to two of my best friends. I'm so happy everyone seems to like each other.

For now I'm just going to spend a few days being calm, doing nothing, hoping to get well in time for the Twelfth Night Ball at the Opera on Saturday.

Yesterday was such a good day that I woke up all happy and giddy today and had to stay in bed for an extra hour to listen to some seriously good music and just be happy (now that I read it it looks like it doesn't really make sense - I know that most people would associate "I had to stay in bed for a while" with something negative - but it wasn't that I didn't want to get up, it was just ... I had to enjoy the happiness a little before officially starting my day, do you see what I mean?).

Then I had the best singing lesson for weeks (I haven't had any bad lessons lately, but this one was just amazing, I felt like I really evolved), and then I met with my repetitör (I don't have time to look that up; it's a person who work at school who is probably the best piano player ever and with whom I meet now and then to go through some songs) and I got some SERIOUSLY good compliments on my singing. I'm not worried at all about the singing exam on Monday, I just look forward to it, it's marvellous :)

Note to self: only spend time with people who make me a better and more thoughtful person, who make it easier for me to love myself, and with whom I feel completely safe.

Now I have to get back to some songs I'm arranging for trumpet, trombone and saxophone (God Bless the Child, There Will Never Be Another You, Stella by Starlight, Like Someone in Love, Tenderly and Well You Needn't (personally I think we could just erase the years 1950-1980 from jazz history because this modal thinking is SO much more time consuming the the chord thinking ... It's interesting, it's just that I don't have the amount of time right now to do a well planned and working arrangement that I can be proud of. And I don't like creating things that I'm not proud of. But well)). Maybe I should just take Crystal Silence instead of Well You Needn't. Slower is easier to arrange :)

This is the good life.

This week is RIDICULOUSLY busy. Just wanted to say that. I will be posting again after the 18th, because then it's CHRISTMAS. I haven't had time for anything Christmasey yet (except for the yearly, unavoidable baking of gingerbread (ginger snaps? What is the difference?) with Lisa and my mother yesterday), but I have this semester's last exam next Tuesday and after that I intend to do nothing (except going to the Snowball in Stockholm for New Year's). Until the 14th of January! Longest Christmas holiday ever. Yay!

P.S. We have found a new pianist for the jazz ensemble and will play together for the first time on Thursday. Of course, nothing is settled, you never know if you'll work together musically, but I think we all look forward to it quite a bit, and I'm hoping it will work. Happy happy!

Får man lov att bli intresserad av någon för att han pratar så fin dialekt?

Things that make me happy today:

+ The concert with Härlanda Kammarkör yesterday was heavenly. The church was completely full, there must have been 500 people there! And I think we were great, I really do. I think I might actually love my choir! So many of my sweetest friends were there to listen, and everyone seemed to have truly enjoyed the music (Requiem by Rutter, O Magnum Mysterium by Lauridsen, Jubilate Deo by Britten and some other works). Oh I can't wait until our next rehearsal, and then Julsång i City, that will be lovely too!

+ The unexpected party that Hanna and I joined Saturday night. It was already late when we got there, and people spoke slowly with soft voices about art and poetry. And I got to try to play the sitar!!! How cool isn't that! It is obviously a very complicated instrument and I barely managed to hold it right, let alone manage to play a whole scale, but it was fun nevertheless ... even though my fingertips hurted afterwards.

+ The invitations to all sorts of Christmas parties and gettogethers that have started to show up.

+ My planning for my Christmas tree :) My mother and I went shopping for some food two days ago, and I figured I may as well buy the tree stand now, so that I won't forget it (ornaments and stuff are more fun to buy, so I don't think I'll forget them as easily).
- Here is one! my mother said.
- But that's to small, a real Christmas tree won't fit in there! I said.
- What, are you going to have a big tree?
- A REAL tree! I said.
Because this may very well be the only time in my life I have this much space (I think could fit five Christmas trees in my apartment if I wanted too) and I WILL have a REAL Christmas tree! :)))

+ Listening to Gene Harris' Summertime and feeling in my whole body how good it is to blues dance to that with someone that I feel very safe with. Must remember to thank Joakim for having taught me most of what I know about counter balance, without which I would never have been the dancer I am now.

+ The folk music concert and party that I attended at Folkmusikcaféet Friday night. The concert with Kraja, a Swedish folk song group of four, was magical. Their voices are so beautiful and their arrangements truly inspirational. After that, Tidig Tisdag played until late, and I learned how to dance polska and schottis and folklig vals and polka and it was just plain fun, I couldn't stop laughing!



And there's more: I have the whole week off!!! :) For several reasons which I won't explain here, we had to move my practical training (I'm not sure that's what it's called? It's when I'm at a music high school (or any other school with singing teachers) with a singing teacher, following everything she or he does, and taking care of some of the singing lessons myself).

I was supposed to have that this week, but it will be in January instead, on my Christmas holiday - which is wonderful. A month off for Christmas is too much for me, I would get restless and long for school to start. Now I have a three week long Christmas holiday (which is the percect length according to me) instead, I'll get a much better practical training than I would have had this week, and I have this whole week off to rest and get some school work done. I love it!

Here's what I intend to do this week:
- Sleep until I wake up every morning.
- Get the music theory assignments done.
- Work some extra hours at the library.
- Sleep some more.
- Practise knitting.
- Play the piano.
And that's it! :)

(And yes, the lost files I talked about the other day, were recovered, with some detective work and some help from the school's computer people. And who knows, I may even let you listen one day or another :))

This was one of those mornings when you wake up ridiculously happy and giddy and don't know why until you remember that last night was the best dance night in a long while. Oh, I love how it stays in the stomach overnight like that, it's like magic :)

It was Duke's Place, and I usually never have my best dance nights on those occasions. Socially, yes, but dance-wise, no. I always dance better at our ordinary Mondays, when we're just dancing in our own building, in ordinary clothes, nothing fancy. Duke's Place and such - 300+ people, a big band, a much bigger venue, Saturday night, all that - it doesn't work quite as well for me.

But last night was FABULOUS, completely perfect! Kristian and I taught the crash course (about 150 people who had never danced lindy before - quite amazing) and from there I just ... I don't know, kept on going? We got so many nice compliments on our teaching and on the fun-ness of the class, which made me happy, so it was a great start. And we were asked if we'd like to teach a beginner's weekend in Strömstad, where they want to start up some lindy dancing, in March. That would be loads of fun! Most things are fun with Kristian. We've started working on some nice stuff we want to teach in the intermediate/advanced course that starts in January. Anything that makes me giggle (or scream/ laugh hysterically, which also happens) will be used, that's a safe trick for knowing what's good :)

The big band was good too - Vintage Jazz Big Band, a bunch of old men with big smiles and a good feeling for the old stuff. I can't stand big bands who play neoswing and the likes on lindy occasions. Blah. However. Joakim was in town, so I got to dance a bit with him, which was great. It's always good to dance with someone that you've danced a lot with in the past, you understand each other better, the momentum is smoother, it's a bit like coming home. It is, after all, rare (at least if you're not on a higher level than I am) that you reach that amount of awesomeness when dancing with someone for the first time. (It does happen, though. Marty, get back here!)

This Sunday is mine, to use for what I want. I think it will be some general hanging around in the apartment, doing a little bit of this and a little bit of that, and just enjoying the happiness. Sounds good to me.