one concert a week

During the better part of 2007, I went to one concert a week, in average. I went to everything from small, cozy lunch concerts at school to opera and musicals at the opera house; I listened to pop bands, symphonic orchestras, piano trios, big bands, world musicians and much more. It was a constant source of new inspiration to my musical work and never failed to get me in a better mood.

But when things got busy, I let this habit fall apart, which has made me unhappy. It was so hard to keep going during the spring semester! Music just wouldn't work for me like it used to.

This upcoming semester, I have serious plans on staying happy, inspired, and extremely musical (which would be a good thing since music is what takes up about all my waking hours). And to be able to do that, it is neccessary to go to concerts. People (also classmates, musicians like myslf) kept asking how I had time to go to that many concerts. But I considered it neccessary, as a oart of my school work and totally worthy of prioritizing.

I intend to get this habit going again and I'm starting today. Maria and I are going to Nils Landgren Funk Unit at Liseberg, which should be good (although Nils Landgren himself often seems quite bored when playing live, I have a hard time standing that ... But the music is good).

And then, next week ... Oh my gosh, I'm so looking forward to this! I've had tickets since early June. The Göteborg Symphony Orchestra will be playing Appalachian Spring by Aaron Copland, conducted by Gustavo Dudamel. Appalachian Spring is my most favorite classical piece ever. It has brought me through some hard times and I love this piece, I truly do.

I've only heard it live once, the very first time I heard it. When I studied music in Jönköoing, we got free tickets to all concerts with Jönköpings Sinfonietta. They played Appalachian Spring at one time and it caught me immediately. I forgot to breathe. I bought a CD with the music shortly after that and now I'm going to hear it live again. Ooooh I'm so excited! :) I only wish there was some way I could see the ballet (Appalachian Spring was written for Martha Graham, the choreographer). Oh well.

That's Aaron Copland on the photo, taken in 1946. I borrowed from the Aaron Copland Collection. Isn't it an amazing photo? Writing music by candlelight!

quality sea & shore time

As promised, some more vacation photos. And man, did we have some quality sea & shore time! I think we caught the sunniest, warmest days of summer so far, totally the right days to spend by the sea (technically Göteborg is by the sea too, but it sure doesn't take five minutes to get to the water from where I live.) These photos are so sunny that it's almost ridiculous, but here you go anyways :)

the moving business ...

I think moving is really a great thing, because it makes you realize how much STUFF you actually own. It gets me thinking: How much of all this do I really need? How much to I use? Why do I buy more clothes/ stuff when I have so much of it? Because quite clearly I do own a lot of stuff.

These past couple of days have been quite intense ... Included lots of carrying, packing, re-packing, trying to fit the last things in somewhere in the car, driving the short (at least that was good - it's a ten minute ride with the car from Vasastan, where I lived, to my beloved Guldheden) distance, carrying again (lots and lots of carrying) ... and me and the boyfriend were alone for the most part. I wish I had asked some friends to come and help, it would have been so much faster and we could have had an ice cream party as a thank you. Or something.

Anyways, all my things are here now and today we've done a lot more carrying (we need to move things around in the apartment and also put some furniture in the attic). So I'm tired both in the body and in the head and I still live in an ocean of boxes and bags ... The wardrobes and shelves aren't really in their places yet, so it wouldn't be much use unpacking anything.

But I'm sure that once we've gotten everything in order here, it will be fine. No better than fine, it will be wonderful. For example: I'll get a STUDIO. Well, at least almost. I prefer to think of it as the studio/ library since it will also contain many of our books and the boyfriend's some seven hundred CD's (and my 300). And the boyfriend's desk. But apart from this, there is room for my lovely, lovely reading/ thinking/ writing armchair which I haven't been calm enough to sit in for the past six months. And the lamp and little table that go along with it. There will be some quality sitting in there now I tell you (I've already spent time in it today, to try out the best corner for it).



And (I've saved this for last because it makes me really happy) I get TWO desks (OK, one desk and a slightly smaller table, at least) (now this is a dream come true!) to fill with painting, collaging, mixed media projects, post card making, photo albums, drawings, scrapbooking, letter writing, envelope making, and random projects. I already have a couple of those random projects in mind. They can be my favorites. so now I can work on multiple projects and just turn from one to another if I need to. Can't wait until I get all my paper scraps and gluestick and poster paints in there.

I left my photos from the weekend by the sea on the laptop, which I can't find at the moment, so I'll share with you instead some mail art that some of you may not have seen. I love color too much to make a post without some of it. The quote postcards are from August 2007 and the travel themed ones with arrows are from November 2006. What do you think?

forgot to go to bed

Last night I forgot to go to bed. At about one in the morning I suggested we should see the first Star Wars movie (or Episode IV, if you prefer to call it that), because I hadn't seen it ... After that the boyfriend went to sleep and I didn't. And that's quite much it, I didn't ... until half past four. I had no reasons to go to bed. So much creating to do I guess! :)

- - -

A short while ago I wrote a post about how I sometimes feel so boring, because I'd rather sit at home and read than go out and be adventurous (I didn't post it at that time, but I guess there will be more on the subject in the future).

About two minutes after I had written it, I checked some blogs and read this beautiful poem by Maya Stein. And I realized that I have the right to live exactly the life I want to live, and that the small things are the most beautiful, and that if my life is beautiful to me, I have all that I need. I don't need for others to want my life (writing that in black on white is really weird. Why on earth would I want others to want my life? Where did that come from?).

I'll put the poem here and hope she won't be mad at me for doing so. Maybe one of you needs to read this as much as I did.

I am no magic trick, no doer of miracles, no water walker.
I am no architect of glory, no layer-on of hands, no angel wing.
I am no weaver of gold, no mythmaker, no parachute artist.
I am no halo of stillness in a downpour.
I am no treasure chest, no hero, no thunderbolt wielder.
I am no rabbit foot or lottery number.
I am no combination lock, no mystery ingredient, no optical illusion.

But here is a handful of sunflowers from the florist's sidewalk jungle.
Here is a blanket to spread on the grass for an afternoon.
Here is a song on the radio that calls for dancing.
Here is a chocolate bar I will share with you.
Here is a road sign, a notebook, photographs of those I have loved.
Here is a slice of bright blue sky, a hummingbird
thrashing her wings around an apricot tree.

To see this clearly
is enough.

Maya Stein


And about two minutes after having written my last post about not wanting to buy a lot of art supplies that I won't use, I stumbled upon this magnificent manifesto. It doesn't say a word about not buying any new art supplies, so I guess most of you won't understand why I was so delighted to find it, but to me the connection is there. It's like my brain connects pieces that make total sense together even though I can't really see why they make sense. It happens quite a lot.

I guess the "forget about good", "process is more important than outcome", "love your experiments" and "capture accidents" stuff is easier for me to connect with letting go of fears and plans and creating wildly, than with browsing stores and buying stuff in pristine, shiny packages that I hardly even dare to open.

Isn't it wonderful how we always get what we need if we reach out for it? Oh, am I glad that I believe in God. Otherwise this fact would SERIOUSLY puzzle me. (It still puzzles me how it can be so right on time, so so childishly simple, so downright accurate, but at least I know who it's from.)

- - -

On another note, I am now so bored with this cold that I declare it over (I'm feeling fine, it's just that my runny nose refuses to collaborate). The boyfriend and I are going up to the summer cottage outside of Strömstad to spend some time with the parents and hopefully get some quality sea & shore time. Back again on Sunday (and Monday is moving day, so you may not hear a lot from me then either). Hope you'll have a great sunny weekend!

on buying art supplies

Been thinking about buying art supplies. It seems many people spend more time buying products, or longing to buy them, then actually using the stuff they've bought. This feels so sad to me and I know that I could easily fall into that gap, too (haven't I already, a little bit?).

Things you see in craft stores or on the internet always look so fabulous on the shelves, like I could make more amazing stuff than I ever have if I buy them. But at home, they can make me intimidated and I end up not daring to use them. Sometimes it's because I'm afraid I am going to find a better use for a certain thing later, and then regret I don't have it anymore. But mostly, it's because of the money. Patterned papers and rub-ons, for example, which is what I have been most drawn to as of late, are ridiculously expensive here, and that makes me think I have to carefully plan every page or little thing before I make it.

And that just doesn't go with my way of creating. I've always been much more "just pick up whatever you have lying around, glue it somewhere, see if it fits, and if it doesn't, put something else over it". Iguess I could do this spontaneous thing with patterned paper too - I guess I should, since that way of creating is what makes me happy ... But I really don't have a lot of money, and doing that would feel like a waste of beautiful paper if I have to glue it over with something else ... The beautiful paper that I so appreciated to buy, own, and look at.

Because I really do have that side too. I drool over glossy magazines, cute colorful stationary and minimalist design as well as spontaneous, wild creations. So I love buying patterned paper. I can get really inspired by art stores and everything they have to offer, too, sometimes they make me go home and create like mad. But mostly not. Mostly there's so much to choose from that I become overwhelmed and don'ät know what to do at all. And often, too often, they make me wish I had more money to buy beautiful stuff, instead of being happy about all the things I already have.

Since when does creating art have ANYTHING to do with the amount of money spent? I started making collages from people's recycling bins, that really should say enough.

These are the two things that threaten my creativity most: Fear of what others might think of it, and being held back by thoughts like "I shouldn't be wasting this" and "this was too expensive for a page/ collage/ project that I don't know how it will turn out or if I'll like it".

I need to find ways to get through these. I have seen what I'm like when I haven't been creating for a while. And right now the obvious solution to the problem, is to not buy more products until I've used a lot more of what I have. That is what used to make me so happy! Just using what I had, finding ways to put things together, all kinds of things. They were never expensive. I need to remind myself that I don't buy stuff to keep them, but to create. Stuff does not make me happier. Creating does.

Some words of wisdom from the amazing mr. Danny Gregory:

"Splurge. Be bold, not precious. Be creative, productive, lavish, not hoarding. [...] Please do waste art materials. Use paper. Empty paint jars. Deplete pens. If it's teaching something, it's not being wasted. Don't save your supplies for a rainy day. Beautiful handmade paper is no good in the rain. Pens run in the rain. Precious bottles of ink get washed away in the downpour. Use 'em now, while the sun is shining!"

(From the Creative License by Danny Gregory)

vacation photos

Photos from Hönökonferensen (a week-long Christian conference/ meeting/ kind of reunion with friends who live in other parts of the country. Normally we spend the days taking walks, swimming in the sea, eating ice cream and talking, and the nights going to meetings, listening to different people preaching, and sing praise to the Lord).

The people in the pictures are, top to bottom: Karin & Anders (on of the sweetest couples I know, who are getting married in just a couple of weeks), me and the boyfriend (I know I look weird, but I'm just not used to being in front of the camera anymore), and my dear friend Linda.

some things ...

... that are going on in my life right now ...

- 25th of August I am going back to the Academy of Music. I decided a couple of weeks ago not to take a year off and go to art school like I had planned. I realized that I wasn't tired of school or music as much as I was just tired in general - completely worn out, to be honest. And when I had slept for about four weeks straight (that's what I did for the most of June) I started to miss music, and working with it most of the day, a whole lot. So that's that. I still have a longing in me to go to art school - some day. But right now my longing to study music is stronger, it just takes up a bigger part of me, it feels like what I'm meant to do.

- Moving back to Guldheden is only a week away and I couldn't be happier about that. For those of you who haven't already heard this, I'm moving into the boyfriend's collective, so there will be me and Johan and Anders and Jesper and I seriously believe it's going to be great. I loved living in Guldheden and was so sad when I had to move in March (I rented a friend's apartment for a year, until he sold it (I would have bought it if I had had the money, believe me)). I am going to live in that very same house but on the forth floor instead of seventh (yes, that is how I met Johan, we were neighbors and I was invited to their Christmas party last year). I love just thinking about it.

- I caught the inevitable Herräng flu (living and dancing so close to other people it's impossible not to get sick), and need to stay at home for a couple of days (I hope not more than that ...). It's just a cold, but my head feels like a bucket of porridge and my neack and shoulders ache (don't know why really, they always do when I get a bad cold, does anyone knows why?) so I spend most of my time in bed watching movies that don't require any effort whatsoever. I have time to be sick, though, so I guess that's good.

- I recieved the first letter from one of my new penfriends today. I was a lovely letter in a lovely envelope, and I'm so glad I got that idea. Remember, real mail is magical.

- The above photo is from Herräng, and it's one of the very few photos I took there (yes, it was seriously raining that hard). There are some pictures from Hönökonferensen (the week before Herräng) coming up tomorrow, though.

think of it as dancing

I'm in Herräng for the world's biggest and best swing dance camp, located in a tiny village in the middle of nowhere. I'm doing a lazy week this year: volunteering in the café four hours a day, for which I get one meal a day and free entrance to the night parties. Good deal.

Herräng is magical, like it always is. Only an hour after getting here, I found myself in the middle of a juggling workshop (!). There were some people juggling on the grass (next to some people practicing tap dancing on a wooden square that had been put there, and some people eating ice cream in the sun). I only went there to say hello to my friend Arne (who I met at Stockholm Winter Camp in December, and who then stayed at my place during Swingin' Spring), who is an amazing juggler. and well, after about two minutes, I was in the middle of it. I am LOUSY with balls, have always been. Juggling looks like a lot of fun and I've tried a few times, but it never worked. The whole "practice the same thing for ages" maybe isn't for me :)

But this time, it was different. Arne said "don't think of it as juggling ... think of it as dancing". And when I did, everything changed. I just looked at him like I would look at a dance teacher, instinctively following the moves, memorizing them, and then doing them ... and also when I ended up dropping the balls (which I did) there was a completely different flow to it ... like dancing. And it was so much FUN!

Another magical thing was the evening taster class yesterday, locking and breaking. Man, I have not had that much fun dancing for ... maybe six months. They guy who taught it was just so inspirational. And he was an amazing and fun dancer. There are lots of great dancers, but few who spread so much joy that you have to laugh out of pure happiness when looking at them, and trying to do what they do. (I don't remember his name but I think he was from Seattle, like just about every other amazing dancer I've met. What's with that place really?)

So that's that ... My internet time is running out, so I better just post this and go get an ice cream instead (it is hot in Herräng today). Tonight's blues night and I'm hoping to get some nice dances (wish you were here though, Marty). I'm back in town on Saturday, so I'll write more then if not before.

P.S., next year I want to do tap dancing! It looks like so much fun. I took tap dancing in high school (I had to, since I majored in musical theatre) and have been longing to do some more, but there's the time issue ... anyways, a whole week of tap dancing in Herräng, can you imagine the fun?

Some art journal pages from 17th and 18th June. The orange page celebrates me and the boyfriend going out for six months and the white with the polar bear celebrates the calm I felt away at the cottage in Småland.

We're having his family over for dinner tonight, so Johan is out in the kitchen (I'd love to help if only it wasn't that I don't want to, like we usually say :). Nah, but actually, I can leave him there with a clean conscience because he actually loves to cook). It smells good. Filled egg plants with cheese and then blueberry pie with ice cream and chocolate sauce for dessert. Mmm.

Other nice things:
- Jim Dale reading the Harry Potter series. I've just started listening to them (oh, how I love libraries, they have everything!), and they are truly marvellous. I am one of those who read to fast for my own good - I get so caught up in a good book that I skip every other word just to find out faster what happens. As I listen to them, there's time to enjoy every little magnificent detail (yes, I am an avid J.K. Rowling fan). And Jim Dale does an amazing job with all the different voices and accents.

- Making popsicles from the pear juice I drink every morning. I bought popsicle holders at IKEA and the pear juice make them taste just like Piggelin, but cheaper. :)

- Bicycling yesterday. I haven't done that for several years, but my physical therapist thinks I'm strong enough now. And it didn't hurt! I had to think about the right posture and using my stomach muscles to hold it up the whole time but it was well worth it. We went to the Västra Långvattnet lake, closer to the part of town where I grew up. It takes a little while to get there through the woods, so we were almost alone there. The water's so clear and the weather was perfect. A good day.

- I'M MOVING HERE IN ONLY A MONTH. I am so DONE with Vasastan and I just can't wait to live with the boyfriend in one apartment instead of two. There's just been too much walking back and forth. And I've missed Guldheden, like you all know. Can't wait to live here again!