on why I'm not going to buy any new clothes for a year

I don't think I've told you that I'm not going to buy any new clothes for a year?

I started 1st of July and so far it hasn't been difficult at all. If fashion or clothes were a hobby, an interest of some kind, it would have been difficult of course - then I guess I wouldn't have done it (think of trying to not buy any paper for a year. What a NIGHTMARE!). But for me, it really isn't an interest. Most of the time I just put on whatever's closest and see if it works. And now it has come to the point the amount of clothes I have is making me a bit sick.

See, I realised that I (often) buy clothes for the entirely wrong reason. I don't buy them because I'm interested in fashion. I buy them because I think they would make me look better. Which is wrong. We all know that looking better comes from the inside (come on, you know it too). But when I see someone good-looking I think "she looks pretty -> I'm not as pretty as her -> what can I do to be more pretty? Oh, I need some new clothes". And that way of thinking just isn't working for me anymore. I want to get to the bottom of these thoughts, I want to find other ways to feel beautiful - ways that last.

Sometimes when I put together a nice outfit it makes me happy because it is comfortable and has insanely bright colors. So nice clothes can make me happy, yes. But I can put together so many nice outfits with what I already have. I don't need new clothes to do that. What I need to stop is the urge to build some kind of self confidence by buying new clothes. Because that's not where the real confidence lies.

I need to stop thinking that beauty can come from new clothes. All they really do is take up space in my closet and make me poorer. I don't have a lot of clothes compared to most of my friends, but I have more than I need.

The point isn't that I'm going to stop me from buying clothes entirely. I just want to really think of what I need and buy only what I need. Like, I know that when winter comes I'm going to need new winter shoes (and there will be other stuff like that, too). And I know that when in New York I'm going to shop some clothes just because it's fun to get some new stuff that I can't get here. And then that will be completely okay. If it's well thought through. If it's not because it's on sale and I "have to get it now or I'll lose the chance". If it's not because everyone else is shopping like mad (the pressure of ads, and of everybode else's new finds, is so intense). And, most importantly, if it's not a desperate way of trying to make me feel pretty.