how I've been, lately

I received the sweetest message on my cell phone a couple of days ago. A friend of mine wrote "I noticed that you haven't posted anything in a while. How are you feeling? Hugs!"

And you know what? I'm better! :) It feels weird saying it, because I haven't felt "better" in a long while. But I can sing again, even though I'm not entirely rid of the cold yet, and I'm happy.

I think the turning point was that I decided to ask if I could to the singing test (there's one at the end of every semester, you sing three of four classical songs of your choice in front of four singing teachers and they decide if you are good enough, basically) in January instead of this coming Monday, and it was okay. Before I asked, it felt like a failure ... I didn't want it hanging over me over Christmas, I wanted it over with, and all that, you know. But then I realized it was the right thing to do. And that it's okay. That it can wait. That my health, and feeling good, is more important than stressing out over getting something done.

After that, I realized that, well, somehow I'll be able to get all the pieces together. And since then (that was a little over a week ago) I have. I have been crazy busy with all the stuff that needed to be done in school, but I ticked them off one by one, instead of trying to do them all at once like I did before.

And now I am officially in Christmas mode. No more school until January! I start working at Posten on Monday (and will do so for nine days, until the 23rd). I got the day shift this year, instead of the night shift that I used to have a few years ago when I worked there last day. I love working the night shift, but day shift is fine, too. After all you can have a normal life if you work the day shift. :)

Speaking of a normal life, a normal life to me includes a social life, and I have been thinking a lot about friends and friendships lately. I've been thinking about what all this stress does to us all. I have hardly seen, or talked to, any friends at all this fall - mostly because of my sickness and because most of my best friends now live in other cities, but also because I, and everyone else, have been extremely busy. And I can't help but thinking: what's it all for? Why do we take on so much to do? Why can't we stop ourselves? Were did spontaneity go? I don't want to to it anymore, I just don't.

There will probably be more on that subject soon, but right now, the boyfriend and I are off to buy our Christmas tree. We even borrowed a car from the parentals for the occasion. It's a good thing you know, having parents in the same city and a boyfriend with a driver's license. :)