no fun

So I haven't posted in a while. That is because I'm taking a medicine at the moment (long story, but nothing serious) that makes me unhappy. As in, I cry a lot, about the smallest of things, I don't want to leave the apartment and yet I get extremely restless, I cannot think rationally about anything, and it feels like there is nothing in my life but problems and disappointments (it doesn't matter that I know on some level that this is not true - I can't stop those feelings when they decide to take over). I also caught a rather nasty cold. So basically that's why I haven't been blogging.

I'm trying to sit still to let my body do its work and get rid of this cold for me, but I'm restless, so restless. I keep thinking about all the stuff I've had to cancel over the past few days, I keep wondering for how long I will be stuck in this ... It's so difficult to accept the situation, that this is what my life looks like right now and that it's necessary for me, for some reason. I'm planning to read a lot of Keri Smith today and hopefully create something nice to cheer me up (between the coughing attacks). And eat a lot of ice cream.