think it cruel but sometimes

I've lost all sense of direction. I don't know what I want, what I want to do, what I want to be, I don't know if I want to stay at the academy of music, I don't know what I want to create, nothing. Mostly I want nothing. I don't talk to friends. I don't know why. I think I want to, but I don't have the strength to make an effort. And so I'm lonely. And I am stuck. And why am I still sick? Why doesn't it get better? Why am I still coughing? Why does my throat still hurt? I can't sing like this! Not that I want to - but I have to.


I cling to these words.

Every now and then life says
Where do you think you're going so fast?
We're apt to think it cruel but sometimes
It's a case of cruel to be kind

(Ron Sexsmith: Gold In Them Hills)